While the media image of age-gap love is still predominantly one of older men and younger women, the reality is a lot more balanced. Gone are the days of the ‘cougar’ stereotype as people realise that these relationships can go well beyond the physical.
Of course, that’s not to say that the physical doesn’t play a role. With age comes confidence and experience and honestly, there’s nothing sexier. As more and more younger men are realising that they’re attracted to older women, it’s time to take a look at how the culture around older woman, younger man age gap relationships.
How Old Is Too Old?
The short answer is, as the cliché says, ‘you’re only as old as you feel’. Why let out-dated expectations of decorum get in the way of a good time?
It’s an unfortunate fact that we still live in a world of gender-roles and expectations. The problem with these expectations is that they’re based in a culture that no longer exists and never did anyone any favours anyway. As they die off, the rules are changing and honestly, so long as you and your new partner are happy, who cares what anyone else thinks?
The same applies for men who’re attracted to older women: if you like her and she likes you, why are you letting anyone else get in the way?
Cougars: Myths and Stereotypes of Older Women
Of course, some myths and stereotypes prove to be stubborn. The image of the sex-crazed cougar, á la Stiffler’s mom, and the equally false image of the conquest seeking younger man are deeply seated in the culture. As with most myths and stereotypes, the ones which apply to men dating older women don’t stand up to much scrutiny at all.
Some of the most pervasive falsehoods include:
She’s Just Looking for Sex
Maybe she is but then again, maybe she isn’t. There are certainly older women out there that are looking for a bit of fun, but just as many are looking for a real relationship. Younger guys have a lot to offer beyond the physical: they’re more likely to be out there doing fun stuff after all.
They’re Lonely
With the culture shift towards independence, more middle aged women are finding themselves out there, looking for partners again. That doesn’t mean that they’re ‘lonely’ and desperate though. With age and independence comes comfort in yourself and those are very attractive traits.
They’re Looking for a ‘Project’
Ok, so younger guys aren’t problem free. It’s hard to establish yourself in this world. And the younger you are the more milestones are left for you to hit. While with age comes experience, it doesn’t follow that she’s out there looking to impart her wisdom and mould minds. Older women are looking for partners and they know exactly what they want.
Of course, for every negative myth and stereotype of the older woman, there’s an equally false one about men. The reality is that so long as you’re both adults and having fun, there’s nothing ‘out there’ or weird about age gap romance.
True Love Is Timeless: Men Who Like Older Women
While the media perception of age-gap love is still largely older man/younger woman, the reality is much more balanced. We only have to look at the world of celebrity to see countless examples of men enjoying the benefits of dating older women and women forming deep, meaningful relationships with younger guys.
Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas have 10 years between them and their whirlwind romance made headlines around the world. Jason Momoa, the epitome of virile masculinity, only recently separated from his ex-wife, Lisa Bonet, 12 years his senior. Friends star Courtney Cox has been married to David Arquette, 9 years younger than her, and linked to Jonny Mcdaid of Snow Patrol, 12 years her junior.
Of course, if you’re looking for a celebrity woman who dates younger men almost exclusively, the top of the list has to be Madonna. Her little black book contains names such as:
- Tupac (13 years younger)
- Denis Rodman (33 years younger)
- Guy Ritchie (10 years younger)
- Kevin Sampiro (33 years younger)
And the list goes on.
What these abundant glossy-magazine relationships tell us is that the idea of an older girlfriend isn’t as out there as people might think from a casual glance at the culture.
If it’s good enough for the queen of pop, what’s stopping you?
Here’s Why Younger Guys Fall For Older Women
There are guys out there who want nothing more than to meet middle-aged women, and who can blame them? There’s an absolute ton of benefits to dating an older woman from the guy’s perspective.
As we’ve mentioned before, with age comes experience and getting together with someone older than you gives you the benefit of all that. With practice comes better communication and every relationship can reap profound benefits.
An older girlfriend is more likely to be grounded and self-assured. Sitting down to dinner with someone who really knows themselves and what they think leads to engaging conversations and more rounded perspectives.
Bringing both these elements together, we’d be remiss if we didn’t talk about sex. Self-assurance, practiced communication skills, and the experience to know what she really wants and to tell you about it. Are older women better in bed? We wouldn’t necessarily say that, but there’s a good chance that she will be, and you can probably learn a lot from her. There’s a lot to be said for removing the guesswork from the bedroom and many articles on the subject highlight the matter of jiggery-pokery.
Older women tend to be more relaxed, too. They’ve made it, so the pressure is off, leaving them freer to be playful and enjoy their romantic life without expectations. Equally, they’re unlikely to be looking for ‘providers’, being more than capable of providing for themselves.
Another advantage of having a girlfriend who’s older than you is that with experience comes the ability to see things that you might have missed. Partner this with her more developed communication skills, and the opportunity to learn, grow, and become a better man is often handed to you.
The Psychology of Older Woman- Younger Man Dating
While previous generations had to compete with ridged expectations around gender roles, this old oppressive order is thankfully crumbling. The result is that both older women and younger guys have a newfound freedom to explore, date, and fall in love without judgemental eyes being cast on them.
Providing for your partner comes in all kinds of shapes and sizes; financial, emotional, sexual, and each and every aspect of your lives together. Older women are often able to fulfil these roles even better than their younger counterparts. When it comes to ticking things off the hierarchy of needs, an age-gap relationship often does it better.
Ignore the Myths and Have Fun
What’s not to love about a confident, sexy, self-assured woman?
If you’re a guy attracted to older women they can certainly have a lot to offer. Better communication, more experience in life and the bedroom, greater confidence, and being free from unrealistic expectations: there’s a lot to recommend finding an older woman to date.
Likewise, for women who like dating younger men, the only downside is that some old fuddy-duddies might give you the occasional glance askance. Revel in it and have some fun!
When it comes to dating mature women or younger guys, as with any dating, the only inherent issues are in your own head.
