Friends with benefits and situationships are both non-traditional approaches to traditional relationships.
Live Science found that 66% of its survey participants had been in a “friends with benefits” relationship in the past, and 36% said they were currently in one.
Another survey from Top10 found that 60% of people have either been in or are currently in a situationship.
Interesting, right?
As you navigate love, dating, and dating apps, know what you’re getting yourself into. This blog breaks down the key distinctions between situationships and friends with benefits.
Is A Friends with Benefits a Situationship?
No, friends with benefits and situationships are not the same.
Friends with benefits is an arrangement between two friends where a sexual element is added to the dynamic. Here, there are no expectations for feelings, romance, or romantic commitment. This is a relationship that prioritizes fun, casual, and sex.
Situationships are a step above friends with benefits–at this point, you’re more than friends. There is a sexual element involved, but there are also feelings and boundaries that need to be considered. However, this is still a casual relationship and is less defined than a traditional relationship.
Understanding Situation Relationships
A situation relationship, aka a situationship, can be confusing to navigate. It’s a blurry ground where you’re more than friends, but not necessarily ready to date or be partners yet.
Are you in a situationship right now? What are the signs of situationship? Here’s everything you need to know about this topic.
What is situationship?
A situationship is like a traditional relationship–but less defined and exploratory. It’s a situation where one or both people have a certain level of feelings for each other but aren’t fully ready to commit to partners or dating.
Terms like “boyfriend,” “girlfriend,” and “partner” aren’t used. People in this casual relationship structure don’t know what they want or need yet.
Both sides enjoy each other’s company and feelings but are not bound by the commitments that come with a traditional relationship.
What are the signs of situationship?
Though a situationship is in the “between,” these are common signs to tell if you’re in one:
- No clear labels: You don’t have a defined label for this casual relationship.
- Avoiding commitments: There’s no talk about exclusivity, boundaries, or making things official.
- Mixed emotions: You may have feelings, but these feelings aren’t deep or well-defined.
- Uncertain future: You’re unsure where things are going or what the future holds.
- Casual interactions: Your interactions stay relaxed and informal, without the structure of dating or being partners.
- Mixed signals: There may be confusing or conflicting messages about what each person feels or wants.
Pros of Situationship
- People have different needs. A situationship can be great for some. If you need something more flexible and less defining, consider a situationship.
- You get to enjoy flexibility. You get to enjoy the physical and sometimes emotional availability of another person without rigid labels, schedules, or timelines to follow.
- Casual relationships also mean less pressure. If you live an uncertain and hectic life–and aren’t ready to commit to a partner yet– situationships are less stressful to be in.
- You can also explore. Those new to dating, partners, and relationships can use situationships as a time to explore feelings and see who they’re compatible with.
- Situationships also have less conflict. As long as both people are clear that it is a situationship, there shouldn’t be any problems with this casual relationship.
Cons of Situationship
Situationships are casual relationships, which come with their own drawbacks.
For example, the flexibility of a situation can be great for some.
But, that ambiguity might be terrible for others. Ambiguity and a lack of labels can lead to frustration about the nature of the casual relationship and what’s to be expected.
There can also be emotional distress. One person may develop stronger or deeper feelings for the other. If the other person doesn’t share the same desires, this may lead to heartache.
In the case that feelings aren’t matched, you may also feel insecure. You may wonder if you aren’t good enough, or if there’s something wrong with you as a person.
Depending on you and the other person, conflict may also increase. If both sides have expectations that aren’t matched, that misunderstanding can lead to tension and conflict.
Pro situationship advice: That’s why it’s so important to have conversations–even in a situationship. People have different feelings, wants, and needs, and being in a situationship is supposed to help meet those needs.
Understanding Friends with Benefits Relationship
You’ve likely seen the term “friends with benefits” thrown around–but what exactly is it? What can you expect from a friends-with-benefits situation?
Here’s everything you need to know about friends with benefits.
What Are Friends with Benefits?
A friends with benefits relationship is a casual relationship, but even more casual than a situationship. Here, two people enjoy each other’s company and have a sexual relationship–with no strings attached. This means no feelings or desire to be anything more than friends.
It’s about maintaining a friendship while adding a physical intimacy element to the relationship. There should be no desire to be in a traditional or casual relationship with the other person.
Signs of Friends with Benefits
Curious if you’re in a friends with benefits relationship right now? Here are some signs that you’re in this type of relationship:
- Clear boundaries: You’ve both set boundaries mentioning that the relationship is nothing more than fun, casual, and physical–as nothing more than friends.
- Casual interactions: You have fun and hang out together, but there’s no pressure to label the relationship as anything.
- Friendship focus: The foundation of the relationship is on friendship, not romance.
- Emotional detachment: There’s a mutual understanding that the relationship isn’t meant to be deep or intimate, or have boundaries in place.
- No exclusive expectations: You’ve both established that it’s okay to see other people and that your relationship has no strings attached.
Pros of Friends with Benefits
Like with situationships, friends with benefits can be good for certain people.
For one, there’s a lot of flexibility–even more so than in a situationship. You get to enjoy physical intimacy and companionship without any feelings, boundaries, or pressure. You’re also free to come and go whenever you want to in a friends with benefits relationship.
There’s minimal pressure too. You’re able to hang out, have fun in bed, and then go on with your day.
This also means personal sex life growth. You can engage in intimate, sex-focused relationships with others—allowing you to improve and understand sex better.
You also get emotional support. In a friends with benefits dynamic, you still get all the benefits of companionship and friendship. You have someone to talk to and hang out with, without the added complexity of romance and boundaries. Since you stay as friends, you also avoid the complexities of becoming more than friends too.
Cons of Friends with Benefits
Friends with benefits relationships also have drawbacks.
One of the biggest drawbacks is social stigma. The friends with benefits dynamic is opposite to what society considers a “normal” romantic relationship.
Existing social pressure and judgment may influence how you and other people perceive a friends with benefits relationship.
Emotions can also get complicated too. Like with situationships, one person may develop deeper feelings. These feelings may lead to potential heartache for you or the other person.
There’s also the potential for jealousy. In the case you or your friend want to become more than friends, feelings of jealousy or insecurity can arise–creating a tense situation.
Difference Between a Situationship and Friends with Benefits
Let’s sum up everything you’ve learned in this blog.
Friends with benefits is primarily a sexual arrangement and sits at the bottom of the relationship spectrum–if it can even be considered a casual relationship. It’s characterized by having no feelings or strings attached, and both sides can see who they want when they want.
The focus is on maintaining a friendship while enjoying physical intimacy and having fun without any of the commitments or boundaries of a traditional relationship.
Situationships are one step above friends with benefits. It sits in between super casual dating, like friends with benefits, and a more traditional romantic relationship.
A situationship is a casual relationship with elements of sex and oftentimes feelings but without the limits and constraints of a regular relationship. There are some expectations, but the lines are blurred.
Can You Change the Definition of Your Romantic Relationship?
Yes! Like with any relationship, people, feelings, and partnership dynamics can change. You can go from friends with benefits to more than friends. Or from a situationship to a friend-with-benefits dynamic.
You can even go from friends with benefits to a full-on romantic relationship.
Pro dating tip: The most important thing is to communicate what you want and what you expect from the other person. If you feel like you’ve become more than friends, express that. Be transparent about your feelings and what boundaries you’d like to have. If the other person has developed feelings, be willing to having a open dialogue.
Situationships and friends with benefits: FAQs
Still don’t have your answers about situationships and friends with benefits? Check out the FAQs below:
Situationship FAQs
What is a situationship?
A romantic or sexual relationship without clear labels or commitments. Often, there is at least some level of feelings and desire to be more than friends.
How is a situationship different from dating?
Dating often has clear intentions and a desire to date from both people. Situationships are casual relationships, where feelings exist but without the pressure to be complete partners.
Can a situationship become a committed relationship?
Yes. If both people develop deeper feelings, have a conversation to re-evaluate the nature of the casual relationship.
Why do people enter situationships?
To avoid commitment and boundaries and to explore new feelings.
How do you define boundaries in a situationship?
Both parties need to communicate openly and with honesty about their needs, expectations, and feelings.
How do you transition out of a situationship?
Discuss your feelings with the potential partner. Decide together whether to pursue a committed relationship or end the situationship.
Friends with Benefits FAQs
What is a friends-with-benefits relationship?
A relationship where two friends engage in sexual activities without romantic commitments or desire to be more than friends.
Can friends with benefits evolve into a romantic relationship?
Yes, it can evolve into a romantic relationship if both parties develop deeper feelings for each other.
How do you maintain boundaries in a friends-with-benefits relationship?
Clear communication about expectations and boundaries is essential for maintaining this type of casual relationship.
What happens if one person develops feelings?
Discuss feelings openly and re-evaluate the arrangement together.
How do you end a friends-with-benefits relationship?
Have an honest conversation about your feelings and agree to end the arrangement respectfully.
Is it possible to stay friends after a friends-with-benefits relationship ends?
Yes, but it requires mutual respect and understanding from both parties.
We hope you found this resource helpful. As you navigate dating apps and the dating process, don’t forget about Together.com.
We’re here to go beyond casual relationships and dating to help you find the love of your life.
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