The PDA acronym stands for ‘Public Display of Affection’. That’s a catch-all term for everything from overtly making eyes at someone you love, through handholding, all the way up to sticking your tongue in their mouth. Anything that physically expresses your affections falls into this category.
Some people love showing off their feelings in a physical manner when out and about. Other people might not. For some it makes them feel secure, others it makes them feel smothered. Whether or not you’re a PDA couple depends on your, and your partner’s, relationship and preferences. You might say that PDA could also stand for “personal display of affection”.
Are You A PDA Couple? What Does It Mean?
In love and dating, a PDA is what we might call ‘context sensitive’.
There’s not really a single answer to “what does a PDA mean” in terms of your relationship. In some cases, it can be a great sign- your partner is really into you and can’t keep their hands to themselves. That being said, sometimes people read it as ‘trying to hold on’ to a dying relationship.
Equally, public displays might ebb and flow within the relationship. Sometimes you’re all over each other, sometimes you’re more restrained.
What it means to you as a couple isn’t an answer you can get from a blog, unfortunately.
Examples of PDA: What Constitutes A Public Display?
Just like the affections they express, there’s a baffling variety of actions that fall under the heading “PDA”. Types of public displays of affection include:
- Kissing: everything from the quickest peck on the cheek to a full-on French, saliva and all falls into the category of a PDA kiss if it’s done out in public.
- Touching: handholding, waist touching, brushing hair from each other’s faces. If it’s tender or charged, it’s an example of PDA touching. The ways in which we physically touch are many and varied, but you’ll know a PDA when you see it.
- Hugging: whether it’s an arm around the shoulders or a full-on embrace, a hug is amongst the most common ways of expressing affection.
- Verbal PDAs: are you a ‘babe’, ‘sugar’ or even a ‘snookums’? We express our affections in all kinds of verbal ways, from pet names and couples in-jokes all the way up to those 3 magic words: “I love you”
- Visual PDAs: not every public display is overt. A certain smile or even a glance could well be thought of as showing a PDA. Just because it’s not in your face doesn’t mean it’s not there and it doesn’t always mean it’s’ gone unnoticed either.
Of course, the list goes on and on and on. Drinking from each other’s straws, linking arms, playing footsie- anything which expresses your feelings of affection and attraction is a PDA.
Are PDAs Good Or Bad For a Relationship?
Whether a PDA is good or bad is another context-sensitive aspect of relationships. There are no right or wrong answers here.
Some people really love to express their feelings physically for the whole world to see. Some people prefer to keep it for more private settings. There’s no right or wrong here, and whether you think someone is indulging in too much pubic affection or not enough will vary from relationship to relationship.
For some people, it might feel smothering or possessive and could signal a relationship on the rocks. Likewise, and just as legitimately, other partners might feel that it’s weird that you don’t want to show off your relationship. Every relationship is unique and that means that whether PDAs are good or bad will vary from couple to couple.
How we perceive PDAs depends on both cultural and psychological elements.
If you come from a physically expressive background, you’re likely more comfortable with PDAs than someone who’s family is more reserved. Likewise, if they tend towards being more exhibitionist, then your partner is probably pro-public display of affection. If they’re more private, they’ll want to keep that aspect between the two of you.
If you find yourself wondering why PDAs make you uncomfortable, analyse these factors but remember, it’s fine to feel how you feel.
When Is It Too Much Public Affection?
What’s too much for picking up your partner from work isn’t the same as the limits for a romantic restaurant. Likewise, dinner with the in-laws is probably a more reserved affair than a dinner party with friends. Handholding in the street is pretty much always going to be acceptable, but blocking traffic to swap saliva is probably too much (romantic as the image may be).
The key to judging whether or not a PDA has strayed into the realms of the extra is all about being aware of your surroundings and your partner. The key considerations are:
- PDA Type: A full on passionate, leg-in-the-air kiss and a quick peck don’t rank the same.
- Location: A romantic setting, say beside the lake of an evening might deserve more than dropping them off to work in the morning.
- Company: Are you out together alone or out with friends or family? How much you physically display your affections depends on who you’re with as much as who you’re with, if you follow.
- Your relationship type: Some people are worried about how their relationship comes across to others. Some people in interatrial, gay or age-gap relationships might be particularly sensitive to the judging eyes of the public. While we should all be free to express our affections openly, there are just too many horror stories for some people to feel comfortable doing so.
The key phrase in ‘public display of affection’ is the ‘public display’ bit. If other people are around, by all means get lost in each other’s eyes but remember, people are watching. You might well decide that you simply don’t care, let them watch, but remember that people can be judgemental.
In Conclusion: It’s Complicated
So, what do public displays of affection mean? The answer is deeply personal.
For some, they might be an effortless expression of their love, something that comes as naturally as breathing. For other couples, they want to keep their affections closer to the chest for a multitude of reasons.
Context, culture, and your own personal psychology and the meanings that you read into each action mean there’s a definitive answer. Even factors such as the mood you happen to be in during the kiss will affect how it lands.
As with all relationship and dating advice the only real consideration is: are you comfortable with PDAs or not?
